where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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