In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
