the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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