You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize