I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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