you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
