How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
