Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Don't tell me you're on acid again
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
