There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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