I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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