i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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