No more Irish car bombs ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
