well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize