just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
