don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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