ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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