I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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