i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
