Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
