Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
