R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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