That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
