JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
