Don't make out with my wife yet
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
