She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
