Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
