i would punch a child for taco bell
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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