i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize