You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
