im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
