Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize