This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
