That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
