Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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