You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
