I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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