I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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