Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My vagina is very pro this idea
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
