I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
