You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
