Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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