is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
