Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
well I can't set my house on fire every night
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
