Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
