Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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