Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
