The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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