i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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