Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I skipped work to stalk him.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
