Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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