there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
