If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm passing your future prison.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
