for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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