Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
