so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize