Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
