haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
