my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just had sex on a roof
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
