you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
