Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize
