the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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