I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
