His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
try to milk me bitch
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