We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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