Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
