need another drink. this is the easiest way
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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