would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
