No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
