What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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