absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
